The Simple Life

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Ah...the simple life!

We know our dog isn't particularly clever. And she's certainly not energetic. But she's mastered the art of getting what she wants in a quiet yet persuasive way.

If she wants food, Sila lies by her plate until one of us gets fed up of tripping over her and feeds her. If she's outside wanting to come in, Sila sits by the glass door and looks at us directly in the eye with her mournful look until one of us opens the door. If she wants to be petted, Sila flops in front of each of us in turn and waits patiently until one of us pets her.

Sila's needs are few. Water, food, (short) walks, and (long) petting sessions. That's it; that's all she needs to be happy. And because her needs are few, she's able to concentrate her energies ensuring they're fulfilled.

So...I wonder if we'd be happier with fewer needs so we could concentrate our energies fulfilling them.

When our needs are few

we can focus on fulfilling them.

Who's Watching Whom?

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While looking at nature, do you sometimes wonder who's watching whom?

In the last 13 years, I can't count how many thousands of wild animals we've fed; swans, geese, ducks, quail, squirrels, prairie dogs, chipmunks, javelina, and deer to name a few. So often I've felt that the animals have seen us way before we've seen them. And so often I've felt if we could speak 'animal' we'd hear,"Hey, here come some of ours. Quick, look cute!" Because I swear they're waiting for us when we arrive. And I swear that they're the ones in control.

Then I wonder how often does this sort of thing happen in our day-to-day life. How often have our children finagled something by making us believe it was our idea? How often have our bosses persuaded us to take on an extra project by pandering to our egos? How often have our friends guided us in a particular direction by building our self-esteems? How often are we really 'in control'?

I'm not suggesting any of these things are bad; I'm just asking who's watching whom?  

Who's watching whom?

Nature Speaks

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Why is it that many people believe things have to be fancy and grand to be worthwhile?

Someone commented to me this week that they, too, could take pretty photos to write about if they could go to Africa, China, India, and other places. But isn't that a bit of a cop-out? Can't we take beautiful photos of interesting subjects in our own backyards and public parks? Good photos are not dependent on exotic places and the subject matter certainly doesn't have to be anything fancy or grand to inspire thought. For example, this photo of colorful flowers against a blue sky was taken at a local park; and to me, it's a reminder of how nature speaks volumes with its simplicity.

But we live in societies where it's believed fancy and grand is better. Look at the extravagant birthday parties many children receive today. Or the amount of gifts under our Christmas trees. Or the compulsion many feel to spend on things they can't afford. Don't you feel sometimes that life's a bit out of whack?

Nature speaks loudly...but are we listening?

Nature speaks loudly

but are we listening?

A Lesson from...Rhinos

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Many people believe rhinos are cranky creatures who attack for no reason. However, this isn't true.

Rhinos have very poor eyesight and become frightened easily; so usually, they're not attacking but running away. I've seen white rhinos frightened by butterflies; but if you have 4-5 tons of animal running toward you at speeds up to 40 miles per hour it's easy to misinterpret what's happening and believe you're being attacked. Female white rhinos are often credited as being particularly cranky, But ponder this; how do we react when we feel our child is threatened? And when you consider that female rhinos are pregnant for 16 months and give birth to a whopping 100-140 pound baby, perhaps they've earned the right to be cranky!

I wonder if some people are judged similarly to rhinos. Do we incorrectly label them as cranky and likely to attack when, in reality, they're responding to something else? If we knew what they were responding to would our judgement be different? Or, perhaps, if we knew what they were responding to would we think they'd earned the right to be cranky?

I certainly hope we can all remember the rhino and learn not to judge without having all the facts.

Let's not judge

without all the facts.

Happy Moments

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Even when life is challenging, you can find happy moments to make you smile if you look for them.

We all know what those moments look like; a beautiful sunset, your children laughing together (my favorite), a perfect tree, visiting with a loved one, morning dew sparkling in the sun. The list goes on and on and is different for different people. Whatever those happy moments are for you, I believe wholeheartedly that taking stock of them helps keep you centered during those other, not-so-happy times. And I'm quickly learning that they help immensely during those tween/teen years!!

I wonder how our lives would change if we were always on the lookout for these happy moments to stockpile. Would we become more patient with our children and more appreciative of life in general?

Perhaps we should try it to find out.

Life is full of happy moments

if we look for them.

Enjoy the NOW

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Why do we tend to set future goals for our children rather than enjoying their current accomplishments?

Why do we say, "You scored 18/20 on the test? Maybe next time you'll get 19/10" and not, "Wow! You got 18/10; well done!"
Why do we say, "You did that in 45 seconds? Maybe next time you'll do it in 40!" and not, "How wonderful that you did it in 45 seconds!"
In other words, why don't we celebrate NOW before looking at LATER?

Our son (then 6) taught me this lesson when he took a photo of elephant rock in Utah. The photographer in me commented, "That's great. But next time, if you stand with your back to the sun you won't have these lines here." Our son looked at me as if I was nuts and commented, "But mama, it's perfect. It's raining rainbows on the elephant!" Why couldn't I have said that?

I now strive to enjoy each rainbow moment and wanted to share this perfect photo with you.

Enjoy each rainbow moment.

Different is Good

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Years ago, because their roast beef sandwiches were competing with burgers, Arby's used the slogan 'Different is Good.'

Don't you think that's a slogan we should foster in our children? If adults model acceptance and celebration of differences, our children will learn to do so also. Then, perhaps, there wouldn't be this desire for neon soccer cleats, name-brand sneakers, and the latest trend in clothing just because 'everyone else has them!' We all need to 'belong'...but can't we belong AND wear different clothing?

My concern is if we can't help children accept differences in clothing then what chance to we have helping them accept differences in skin color, culture, religion, and everything else that makes us different? Let's remember that the seeds we sow in childhood are reaped in adulthood. I hope we're planting the 'different is good' seed - don't you?

Different is good.

Wealth

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Wealth isn't a synonym for money.

Of course, part of wealth is how much money you have and what you can buy with it. But let's remember that's only part of it. Some people have a wealth of friends or a wealth of opportunities or a wealth of knowledge. The list goes on. Yet, in the developed world, don't you think we put too much emphasis on the money part and not enough on the others?

In my travels, I've seen very poor children (financially). Yet some were very wealthy. For example, take the children in this photo. There wasn't much money in their community but there was enough food and children were cherished community members. Working parents didn't have to find a baby-sitter; the remaining adults looked after all the children well. In the evenings, adults and children played, chatted, sang, and danced in the communal area. If a child needed help, the nearest adult would give it. And the children grew up knowing their importance to the community.

Money is needed in the developed world; but let's not confuse that with wealth!

You can be wealthy 

with little money.

Perspective

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After a hard day at work or a difficult day with the children I could easily let my mood take a dive. Instead, I choose to look at a photo that puts everything back in perspective.

This photo is taken from the old immigration station of Ellis Island. The building is the one into which all new immigrants were taken for processing and quarantine. Between 1892 and 1924 about 20 million immigrants went through here after risking their lives to escape persecution.

To further eradicate any bad mood, the buildings seen through the window are part of the 9/11 Memorial built to remember and honor the 2,983 men, women and children killed in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001 and February 26, 1993.

And suddenly, my problems seem quite insignificant. Isn't it remarkable what a bit of perspective can bring?

It's remarkable what 

perspective can bring.

Support

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Flying birds never cease to amaze me.

Depending on the weather, at times they have to flap their wings hard to get where they're going and, at other times, they glide using the wind beneath their wings to stay airborne.

I often think how this is just like life. At times, don't you feel you have to work hard to get where you're going and, at other times, you seem to glide there? During those times when you have to work hard, isn't it great when someone decides to support you and help you out? There's an expression that a person who's a welcome relief is 'like a breath of fresh air.' I believe those breaths of fresh air can build up to being a wind - and that wind, in turn, becomes the one beneath our wings that helps us glide to where we're going.

And each time I watch birds gliding, I determine to help support someone who's struggling; I determine to be the wind beneath someone's wings. Will you join me?

Be the wind beneath someone's wings.

Whistling

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What is it about whistling that motivates children to learn?

I don't know how many hours each of our children spent with eyes crossed, blowing out spittle while learning to whistle! But boy, were they motivated! I remember trying to redirect the motivation by saying things like, "Now that's a great attitude to take to your math homework!," or "Oh, you're blowing well; why don't you practice your flute?" But...no! Apparently, homework and flute don't hold the same appeal.

Just imagine how wonderful it would be if we could bottle that whistling motivation and sprinkle it over other parts of life...homework or chores, for example. Imagine saying things like, "Oh, you don't want to do your science project? Here, have some whistling motivation," or "You don't want to tidy your room? Here, have some whistling motivation."

I think I'm on to something here; we could call it whistation. Now if anyone knows how to bottle it, I know a lot of interested parents...and I'm first in line!

Why can't homework and chores

be this motivating?

Outside the Box

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There's something very special about sunsets over water.

Over the years I've watched better photographers than I use colored lenses and filters to take the most amazing shots. I'm frugal and I don't want to spend my hard-earned money on such things. But I believe where there's a will there's a way and I've learned to use my own filters; I hold my (99 Cent Store) sunglasses in front of the shutter while photographing!!

Seeing my sunset photos always reminds me that there are many ways to get to a particular place if we're willing to think outside the box and be creative. One way may not be as sophisticated or as efficient as another but it can be just as effective.

An old adage suggests there are many ways to skin a cat. My gentler version is this: There are many ways to photograph a sunset. Do you think it'll catch on??

There are many ways

to photograph a sunset.

Celebrate

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What is it about sleeping babies that pulls at our heart strings?

Surely the appeal isn't the thought of changing diapers and getting up four times each night. So is it that they're innocent. Or is it that they're vulnerable. Or, perhaps, it's that they're...quiet!! For whatever reason, when we see thumb-sucking, sleeping babies we move toward them with open arms wanting to cradle them.

I wonder if, deep down, we yearn for the days when life was innocent and simple. I wonder if, deep down, we yearn for the days when food just appeared on the table, when clean clothes appeared in our closets, and when we'd never heard of a mortgage. I wonder if, deep down, we yearn for the days when we were celebrated for merely existing.

And then I wonder how things would change if we all started buying someone a cup of coffee or saying, 'Thank you,' and, when asked why we shrug and reply, 'Because you're you!'

I wonder.

Sleeping babies remind us of a time

when we were celebrated for merely existing.

Pure Love

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Is there anything more pure than a child's love?

Our youngest has a favorite toy named Raffi. She loves this toy. Raffi is now ten years old but it doesn't matter that he's dirty and a bit flat. It doesn't matter that he has holes. It doesn't matter that his neck is floppy or that he's not pink anymore. He's loved. Period. A couple of years ago, we considered replacing the giraffe but our daughter was aghast! She didn't see him as an old, failing toy but as Raffi, her beloved friend. And she wouldn't dream of putting Raffi out to pasture!

Yet, as adults, we react very differently to things (and people) who are old and failing. It seems that our disposable society doesn't feel love quite as strongly or purely as does a child. How often we hear parents say, "Get rid of that old thing," amid a child's protest.

And I wonder; are our children the ones who have it right?

Nothing is as strong or as pure

as a child's love.

Simplicity

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We've all heard of the acronym KISS (Keep It Simple, Silly...we don't use the word 'stupid' in our home). Well, it would seem to pertain to all things in life, even photographs.

I've been known to wait hours for the light to be right to get the shot I want; yet, to be honest, some of my best photos have been the simplest. Take this dandelion, for example; it was growing in our yard and looked so beautiful in the early morning dew. I clicked, chose black and white photo and...done!

We tend to over-complicate our lives these days. We find ourselves running ragged to go here, there, and everywhere. And we have so much to organize and do that it's almost as though we all need a personal assistant! I often find myself wondering what happened to the simple times. Don't get me wrong; I greatly appreciate our technological advances and don't want to go back to 'the good old days' but I do believe that adding a little bit of simplicity to our lives would benefit us greatly. Don't you?

It's good at times to keep it simple.

A Lesson from...Elephants

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Elephants are among my favorite animals and here's why:

Elephants live in supportive, matriarch herds that behave much like a tight-knit family. If a cub needs help, the nearest elephant will give it irrespective of whose cub it is. If the herd is threatened, the elephants pull into a tight group with their youngsters protected in the middle of the circle. When leaving a water hole, the matriarch leads and another 'trusted' adult brings up the rear making certain all the herd is safe. Elephants never attack unless provoked but, when they feel their youngsters are threatened, they'll do anything possible to protect them. And when an elephant dies, the herd grieves; any cubs left behind are adopted immediately by another female.

So much can be learned from these gentle giants if we choose to listen. Elephants live for the good of the herd, and especially for the survival of their youngsters. Just imagine how wonderful our society would be if OUR youngsters were raised in such a supported way. We humans may be at the top of the evolutionary ladder but sometimes I feel that those lower down actually know more about successful societies than we do!

Humans are at the top of the evolutionary ladder

but can learn much from those on lower rungs.

Gratitude

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Travel is very dear to my heart and many of the things I've seen over the years are carved forever into my memory and my soul.

Something that impacted me greatly was realizing how little people have and how grateful they are for all that they do have. Need has made both adults and children more resourceful and creative. Across continents, children make balls out of discarded rubber bands and they make cars and trucks from empty milk/beer cartons, sticks, and bottle tops. They make whole zoos from stones and sticks and a cardboard box can be so many things that you hit the mother-lode if you find one!

The older boy in this photo had found such a box and hid it from me when I asked if I could take his picture, fearing that I may take his box from him. And how the perspective of this photo changes when you realize it's not of two little boys but, rather, of two little boys and their precious cardboard box.

Perhaps we'd all be better off if we could learn to be grateful for what we have rather than ungrateful for what we don't have.

Be grateful for what you have

rather than ungrateful for what you don't have.

Reflections

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Perhaps there is nothing more beautiful than the reflection of trees in water. It brings a sense of peace and harmony and replenishes the soul.

Yet, each time I see such a reflection, my thoughts wander to how we ourselves are reflected in our children - and how that reflection may not be as beautiful as we'd like. I'm not saying that parents are responsible and accountable for all their children are and do. But how many times a day do we see a look, gesture, or act and hear phrases and intonations that exactly match our own? Each day I hear and see myself in my children and am determined to strive to make those reflections ones of which I'm proud.

Children are like little mirrors and reflect what they see and hear. Parents are not totally responsible for those reflections but I hope we make sure that at least our part of the reflection is beautiful.

Children are like little mirrors

and reflect what they see and hear.

Stand tall and proud

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For me, the best classroom in the world is nature and the best lessons come from watching animals in their natural habitats.

For example, animals don't skulk around trying to make themselves look smaller than they are; they stand tall and proud, even when faced with danger. When threatened by a predator, they make themselves look as big as possible and gather in groups so it's hard to tell where one animal ends and the next begins.

Animals have these behaviors innately. So why don't people? So many of us try to make ourselves look smaller than we are and try to hide from situations. When faced with problems, many of us isolate ourselves rather than turning to friends. Many of us don't stand tall and proud.

Don't you sometimes wonder what's happened to make us turn our backs on behaviors that, in the animal kingdom, are necessary to our survival?

Stand tall and proud.

Laughter

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One of the most important lessons I've learned from my children is also one of the simplest: Remember to laugh hard and often.

Our son has one of the most infectious laughs we've ever been lucky enough to hear; he laughs from deep within. There's no tittering or giggling or chuckling or snickering for him. His laugh is more of a guffaw; a loud, boisterous, long laugh that often gets others joining in without even knowing why. It's a joy to behold. But perhaps what impresses me the most is that he hasn't tamed his laugh with age and it's pretty much the same now that he's a teenager as it was when he was a youngster.

Many of us reel in our laugh as we mature and I find myself wondering why. I think our son is the wise one here...though please don't tell him as his teenage brain already has him believing that he knows more than do his dad and I!

Remember to laugh 

loud and long.

The Fire Within

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As I was staring into a campfire the other day I started thinking how everything needs the right amount of sustenance and support to survive - even fire. Without enough oxygen to breathe and timber to consume, even something as powerful as fire cannot survive.

The same thing is true of our spirit; this is the fire within us and it, too, needs sustenance and support if it is to flourish. And, just as some people are better than others at building and maintaining a fire, so too are some better than others at building and supporting our spirit. We've all known those who are so full of grace that the fires within everyone around them flourish. And then we've seen others who seem to suck the life out of everyone in their path.

We talk about people who are 'good human beings' and I wonder if what we mean is that they foster the fire within those they meet. If so, can we say that human beings can become more humane beings by fostering the fires within others?.

Human beings can become more humane beings
by fostering the fires within others.

Waste not, want not

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Animals seem to have such an innate understanding of life that I've often felt we'd learn so much if we'd listen to nature with our eyes as well as our ears.

Take, for example, the okapi. It's an elusive animal that was one of the last species to be discovered. Its closest relative is the giraffe though it actually looks like it's been made up of spare parts from a zebra, a bongo, and a giraffe. In fact, it's like a walking advertisement for 'Waste not, want not'. In this day and age when we seem to discard so much, I find myself wondering if life would be improved for all of us if we learned from the okapi.

Waste not, want not.

Slippery Slope

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I've learned so many lessons from our children. One of my favorites happened a few years ago when we were playing in the snow.

Our youngest was having trouble walking up the sledding hill. Her sister watched for a few minutes then grabbed a sled,  grabbed her sister and dragged her up the slope. The two of them then laughed the whole way down with our dog running beside them all the way.

I'll never forget watching my little ones on that snowy day. And what fascinated me the most was that our older daughter has some significant challenges of her own, but she just saw her sister struggling and rose to the occasion. I learned that day that life is a slippery slope with promises of bumps and bruises, but we can all make it to the top if we remember to help each other.

Life is a slippery slope with promises of bumps and bruises,

but we can all make it to the top if we remember to help each other.

Reality or Perception?

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Don't you sometimes wonder if other people see the same thing as you? Oh we know that we all call the sky 'blue' but how do we know that what I call 'blue' is actually the same color as that which you call 'blue'? Don't you find that sometimes you see different things to what others see?

A while ago, I was on a beach in California and saw the most amazing thing; the waves had whipped seaweed around to make indentations in the sand. Added to that was the imprint of the waves on the black and tan sand. The result was artwork that was far better than anything I could dream of doing with a brush and paint. But the funny thing was that as I was busy taking photos, people stopped to see what I found so interesting. After a few moments, every single person walked away muttering that there was nothing there to photograph. Some even came back for a second look and, once more, walked away scratching their heads.

The reality for these people was that there was nothing there and I was just a bit out of it. My reality was that nature had created some exquisite pieces of art that, for some reason or another, others couldn't see.

Nature taught me a lesson that day: Reality is just a series of different perceptions.

Reality is just a series of different perceptions.